spring haiku de printemps – morning mist lifts = la brume disparaît


spring haiku de printemps – morning mist lifts = la brume disparaît

morning mist lifts,
a robin trills, “hello!”  –
squirrels chatter, “heck!”

robin trilling 620

la brume disparaît,
un rouge-gorge trille « bonjour ! » –
les écureuils jasent, « zut ! »

Richard Vallance

summer haiku – the loons’ howls = les hurlements des huards REVISED


summer haiku – the loons’ howls = les hurlements des huards REVISED

buoyed over lakes
the loons’ howls warbling
through the thunderstorm

loons warbling revised 620

survolant les lacs
les hurlements des huards
pendant l’orage

Richard Vallance

I have changed the second and third lines of the English version this haiku from the original:

the loons’ warbling howls
in the thunderstorm

in order to convey the subtler feeling that the howls of the loons pierce through the thunderstorm from their direction, while simultaneously we as humans hear their warbling howls from the other direction through the thunderstorm.  The word “through” renders the howling bidirectional. Moreover, by reversing “warbling howls” to “howls warbling”, “warbling” is transformed from an adjective to an active present participle, making it verbal instead of merely attributive. All of this goes to show that every single word and moreover, the position of every single word in any haiku has an enormous influence on the impact of the haiku on the reader. 

summer haiku d’été – buoyed over lakes = survolant les lacs


summer haiku d’été – buoyed over lakes = survolant les lacs

buoyed over lakes
the loons’ warbling howls 
in the thunderstorm

loons in a thunderstorm

survolant les lacs
les hurlements des huards
pendant l’orage

Richard Vallance