spring haiku de printemps – on a rainy day = un jour pluvieux


spring haiku de printemps – on a rainy day = un jour pluvieux

on a rainy day
a kestrel skirts the bay –
echoes in the pines

kestrel 620

un jour pluvieux
une crécerelle survole la baie –
échos des pins

Richard Vallance

summer haiku d’hiver – in the thunderstorm = orage de tonnerre


summer haiku d’hiver – in the thunderstorm = orage de tonnerre

in the thunderstorm
gusts whip up the lake  –
loons echo through rain

gust loons 620

orage de tonnerre,
les rafales fouettent le lac –
échos des huards

Richard Vallance

summer haiku d’hiver – on a stifling night – la nuit trop chaude


summer haiku d’hiver – on a stifling night – la nuit trop chaude

on a stifling night
wolves howl at the moon
echoing loons

wolves howling at the moon 620

la nuit trop chaude,
les loups hurlent à la lune,
échos des huards

Richard Vallance

summer haiku – the loons’ howls = les hurlements des huards REVISED


summer haiku – the loons’ howls = les hurlements des huards REVISED

buoyed over lakes
the loons’ howls warbling
through the thunderstorm

loons warbling revised 620

survolant les lacs
les hurlements des huards
pendant l’orage

Richard Vallance

I have changed the second and third lines of the English version this haiku from the original:

the loons’ warbling howls
in the thunderstorm

in order to convey the subtler feeling that the howls of the loons pierce through the thunderstorm from their direction, while simultaneously we as humans hear their warbling howls from the other direction through the thunderstorm.  The word “through” renders the howling bidirectional. Moreover, by reversing “warbling howls” to “howls warbling”, “warbling” is transformed from an adjective to an active present participle, making it verbal instead of merely attributive. All of this goes to show that every single word and moreover, the position of every single word in any haiku has an enormous influence on the impact of the haiku on the reader.