summer haiku d’été – damn you Brit hunters = chasseurs anglais


summer haiku d'été – damn you Brit hunters = chasseurs anglais

damn you Brit hunters
blasting red foxes!
murder in cold blood





vous chasseurs anglais
tuez les renards roux !
meurtre de sang-froid

Richard Vallance

photo public domain


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The “Elgin Marbles”


The “Elgin Marbles”

The Elgin Marbles 620

The “Elgin Marbles” ... You dare call them that!
... as if your larceny could be justified
by such a vile name! It just reeks of scat,
a moniker no Grecian can abide!Lord” Elgin, axing stones, you hauled them off,  
with Ottoman connivance in your grasp,
your crime a mortal sin at which we scoff,
your pride of possession worthy of an asp!
By shaming Athen’s pride, the Parthenon,
your imperial gall’s outstripped your sins,
your every game you play another con,
another ploy in sick political spins.  
   The British Museum claims, “It’s for the best!”
   and touts your barefaced lies as if in jest.

Richard Vallance

April 20 2019

Without further ado (or maybe with it!) let’s all wish Rita Happy Birthday with her WIPO & EREPATO!


Without further ado (or maybe with it!) let’s all wish Rita Happy Birthday with her WIPO & EREPATO! Click to BLOW UP, eh...

Linear B -001 -02

I simply have not the faintest idea (though if I did, I probably would faint!) who designed this cluttered Birthday Card, but they must have been high on mushrooms, marijane or some kind of hallucinogen, eh. OMG! And the notes! They fairly shout at us, Hey READ ME, why don’t you, anyway, eh! (eh being Canajun for A, ha ha!, and since I am a Canajun, I know what THAT means, eh!... so do all other Canajuns, a few Brits, a few Aussies & a few Kiwis, but no Yanks, who for some bizarre reason insist on saying, HUH?, which unlike EH! sounds kinda stupid, eh!). I don’t know about YOU, but I am going to fly to Herakleion (& if you don’t know where that is or you are American & don’t know anyway, FORGET IT, EH!)

So have a wonderful, stupendous, hyper-terrific, copacetic, ecstatic, far out, flighty, spacey, what planet are YOU from?, Plan 9 1/2 from Outer Space etc. etc. etc. Birthday, eh, Rita.... because WIPO simply does not have the graphic skills, let alone writing skills, to cobble together another Birthday Card like this for at least another year, eh. Anyway, it IS one astonishing CARD, totally unique on this little planet of ours full of HUGE ELEPHANTS and little WIPOs, don’t you think, eh?

Yours most sincerely trying with all my might to avoid any nearby EREPATOS! Oh and of course Rita will have to Translate this great card for us, because no Canajun in his or her right mind would even dream of translating it, except for a million Euros... hint, hint, Rita, eh.

Ton ami canadien (Canajun eh!) Click to ENLARGE, even if no-one has ever seen an enlarged beaver! They sure would not like that, and might nibble your finger nails off if you tried!

Canajun eh!

Richard EH!